is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
