I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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