Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
