So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
