I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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