That's intense
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
