Please, let me fuck your mom
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
