We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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