Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize