Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
