Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
