her vagine was all disorganized.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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