Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
