We named our party play list daddy issues
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize