Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
