WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
