Dual....:-)
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
