he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
