Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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