school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
