i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize