Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
