Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
