at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
