Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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