ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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