Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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