Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
