To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
pop tarts are not kleenex
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
