HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
