Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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