is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
