Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
