I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
