Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
