I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
