I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
