Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
