There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
