When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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