You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
