When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
