My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We got so high we made milksteak
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
