i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize