we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
