my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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