did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
