He kissed a someone with a penis
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
