We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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