Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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