so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
sex in a hospital.. check
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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