OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
