no, he came in my armpit
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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