What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
