She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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