Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
