yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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