we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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