Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
