hotel room ftw
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
