You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
