i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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