I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize