You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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